Tag Archives: jam

Go big, or go home

15 May

New York

This weekend, after spending the past two weeks digging myself out of boxes and cleaning products, I ventured out in to my beloved NYC and actually explored.

With my camera.

Ground-breaking, right?

However, it felt… Amazing. Like I was back in business. After a really lonely winter and struggle with the blues, I’d like to think that I’m waking up again, which, coincidentally, matches the coming of summer. I’m not gonna sugarcoat things; the past few months have been rough. Real rough. I lose all enthusiasm for school and dealt with a copious amount of stress and dissatisfaction at work. Ask any of my friends and I was one negative nancy.


But, this weekend I felt like the old Amanda, er the new Amanda… The more lively Amanda, I guess.

What better way to celebrate the gorgeous weekend than a little excursion to get monster donuts. Donuts that have a loyal (albeit cultish) following. My friends and I made the trek to the Doughnut Plant, a Lower East Side doughnut shop that has a damn good reputation for delivering fatty, sweet doughnuts. The line was long, but not as bad as expected for a Saturday morning. However, I should warn you that the shop is teeny tiny. One man working the register, and at least a dozen customers excited to nosh their brains out.

While I love a good cake donut, this time I was all about the yeast kind. They had a range of flavors including Vanilla Bean, Coconut Cream, Valhrona Chocolate, Cashew, Fresh Mango, Creme Brulee, and so many more. Resisting the urge to get them all, I settled on a true winner: the Peanut Butter-glazed doughnut with Blackberry jam filling.


Oh. my. god.

It was heavenly. No, seriously. I heard angels sing. The salty crunchy peanut butter glaze combined with the sweet blackberry jam was exactly what I wanted. Not to mention, the actual monster-sized donut was pretty stellar. Soft, with a fried outside, but moist inside. It is sad to see a donut fall flat and thankfully, the Doughnut Plant’s did the exact opposite.

Next time, I plan on trying the fresh mango flavor because I just can’t imagine what mango + donut actually tastes like.

Till then, I will dream about the epic donut I had.


mental health day

28 May

I can always tell when I start to feel a little off but most of the time, I don’t know the reasons behind this anxiety. A little frantic, less calm, and definitely nervy. Those are the best ways to describe me these past weeks. I can’t sit still, my mind races a mile a minute, and sleep escapes me.I was talking to my friend last night about the current state of California. From the economy to the government, it feels like this great state of mine is falling apart at the seams. I’ve never been more stressed about my job situation than I am now, and I’m sure that all state employees feel my pain. The not-knowing-if-you-have-a-job kills all hope. Going in to work everyday with these kinds of thoughts makes for uneasy work environment. When your supervisors and managers can offer no reassurance, you know you are in trouble. Toss in the ridiculous Prop 8 ruling, and you have got one big damn mess. No wonder I’ve been feeling stressed. I think the entire California population needs to pop a Zoloft and call it a day, but that’s just my opinion.

After a couple weeks full of this tension and constant insomnia, I had had it. It was time for a mental health day, full of bad television, books, coffee, and cake. In that order too. I may not be physically sick, but mentally I am way off my game. And if your brain isn’t working, what good are you?

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12 Mar

Folks, my kitchen mojo has been off. Way off. I think that in the moving shuffle, I lost not only my iPod charger, a pair of Chuck Taylors, but my baking motivation. Besides my daily bowl of oatmeal and my late night Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia treat, I’ve spent the past avoiding my kitchen. It just doesn’t feel right. I know it’s all in my head, but still.

This happens to the best of us, I suppose. Financial anxiety, moving stress, isolation… These are all the things that I am trying to balance on my plate right now. It’s just unnerving to me, especially since I was the girl who would bake up a storm when under any duress. Finals and papers due? Throw me a baking book, grab some flour and butter, and leave me alone.

But this is not the case now and I think I know why: my house is not a home. Does that make sense? I’m still trying to get used to the place. I got to break it in before it feels like home. I thought that the minute I walked through my new doors, I’d instantly feel at ease and comfortable in my own private space.

That is so not how it works. In fact, up until last Friday, I was scared to even be alone in my new place. Ridiculous, I know, but living alone is not all peaches and cream, especially when it’s your first time (roommate situations aside) out on your own. You have to get used to so many things, like house noises, neighbors, kinky appliances, etc. For instance, I’ve noticed that my central heat/air is so loud that I have turn it off at night for fear that it will wake up the neighborhood. Also, I’ve noticed that my block is full of potentially cute boys, which is always a plus. As you can see, I’ve kept my eye on the important details.

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“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”

17 Sep

Everyone around me is a little stressed about the current financial situation. Their anxiety rose to epic proportions over the weekend after a historic financial institution shut down, causing some to lose tons of money, as well as hours of sleep as they now stay up, fretting about their woes.

As a soon-to-be-grad, this economic situation makes me very nervous. College grads have a hard enough time trying to find a job, with all the competition out there, but now add in the raised unemployment rates and lack of available jobs, and you have a recipe for disaster. A couple of friends that I know opted out for grad school after graduating, which seems like a safe alternative to me. I’ve been thinking about my options, what I really want to be “when I grow up”. It’s hard trying to ignore that questions when it seems that you are asked that one every day since you turned 7.

Is public relations really the field for me? Do I want to work 24/7 doing PR for the government or other public sector agency? Or should I take the non-profit route, where the pay is low but the end-of-the-day satisfaction beats out other jobs? Do I plan on working, for the rest of my life, at a job that I am pretty good at even though I know that my future in PR holds for me many sleepless nights, boring travel trips, innumerous anxiety attacks, and probably a nervous breakdown? When posed with questions like this, I can’t help but whip out that secret dream of mine, that someday I can own my own bakery or café, filled with used books and a separate teaching center where classes could be held. Hanging up on the walls would be numerous photos of my customers, and a diploma from a culinary school with my Baking/Pastry certificate boldly showing…

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slowly but surely

15 Jul

I was terrified of many things as a child. I was quite literally one big scaredy cat. Roller coastes, elevators with glass walls, spiders, ice cream trucks that drove around your neighborhood, dark doorways, big dogs. You name it, it probably scared the bejesus out of me. I slept with a nightlight until middle school; I was convinced that vampires existed and would hover over me as I slept.

Looking back, I think I watched too much television or something because that is one random list. I mean, ice cream trucks that played that whimsical tune?! Really?! For some reason, after watching one too many made-for-tv movies, I wouldn’t go near them, no matter how badly I wanted and craved a Nestle drumstick.

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